Ah, the Sims. Whole weekends lost in feverish hours of blue light screens, vicious mouse squabbles with siblings, bloodshot eyes, twitching fingers, sweaty pyjama tops, the Saturday sun filtering sadly through still-closed curtains. Feet padding downstairs at 6am to power up the family computer - trying to get the dog to shut the f**k up. Your mum’s voice sounding like a klaxon every hour, trying to prise you off the screen and get you to do your homework / eat dinner / go outside / wash. The Sims captured the imagination of a whole generation, emptying parks and frying brain cells. Its creators deserve their own columns in Trafalgar Square, but until such a homage can be arranged, here’s ten reasons why we love it.
Your inner architect - a vocation you had never previously considered - flourishes out of nowhere. You begin to wonder if this 7 bedroom mansion styled after the Baroque period would be a good start to your portfolio for ‘architect school’. Who knew architecting could be so delightfully easy and fun?!
Using computer games as a harmless cipher for your sickest fantasies and curiosities: sex, lies, murder, paranormal activity
Living in a town with the highest rate of swimming pool-related deaths of any postcode in the digital or analogue world
As sexless pre-teens, developing a voyeuristic fascination with the business of ‘woo-hoo’ (and basing a worrying amount of our early sexual education on this activity)
Definitely knowing what ‘--’ and ‘++’ conversations feel like IRL
Literal life hacks: coding in infinite wealth, infinite babes and coding out the blurred lines in the bath
Affairs with the strange tarty French maid (RIP feminism)
Practising your charisma in front of the mirror, LEARNING FROM THE TV (see told you mum)
Fire that moves in tessellated squares (and is inexplicably started by trying to open the fridge)
The beautiful fragility of life and death in Pleasantville: alien invasions, giant satellites falling from the skies, rock-paper-scissors with the Grim-reaper, racoon bites
Written and illustrated by Jess Bird