• Ditzy

Things We Can't Wait to Be Old For

Updated: May 3, 2018


Not having to pretend to like nightclubs

Not having to pretend to like festivals

Not giving a shit about what anyone things of the way you look, act or dress

Watching a person you’ve created out of your body become an actual grown-up that people in the world take seriously

Getting to know your children

Knowing your partner so well you remember each other’s memories

Farmer’s Markets

Disposable income, spent selflessly

Thinking about people other than yourself

No one is that fit anymore, not even fit people

Comfortable trainers

Cuddly cardigans

Walking holidays

Not having to know cool/new music

Not using cool words

Realising that we’re all going to die and nothing matters

No FOMO

The National Trust

Tea and Scones

Knowing that the best party is the party that finishes by 10

Owning expensive things that just work

Getting so old that your music/clothes/politics becomes cool again

Having space for your books and clothes that aren’t your bed/the floor

Long chilly walks on the weekend

Phasing out those wrong’un friends

Living in a world governed by the democratic principles of ‘are they nice?’

Coffee brought to your seat in cinemas

Long mornings in bed with crackly newspapers and wriggly kids

Getting right into boiled eggs

Understanding the true pleasures of gardening

Absolutely owning your finances

Not doing all the shit jobs at work

Intergenerational socialising/fun

Deep, gentle love that warms you like the April sun on your face

Sitting on benches and looking at things

Stroking away young tears and knowing it’ll all be ok

Utility dressing

Wobbly bits on your body

Being invisible to leering eyes

Holding a tiny hand in your palm

Wearing long sleeves

Elegant one-piece swimsuits

Having a make-up routine that hasn’t changed in 15 years and takes 12 minutes start-to-finish

Becoming un-embarrassable

Having the balls to complain in restaurants

Knowing that you’re finally a safe place from monsters under the bed

Hands becoming sinewy, skilled and sure

Sturdy underwear that doesn’t cut into your flesh like a cheese-wire

Seeing Christmas through young eyes again

Being in charge of awesome decisions like Friday night bedtimes and ‘do we get a puppy’

Being chief stockist and gatekeeper of the ‘special snack drawer’

Being qualified to give advice, because life teaches you to live it

‘Kids just say the funniest things’ moments

Smelling of soap rather than grapefruit sex

Having smells and songs that can transport you back 20 years

Finally being grateful that you didn’t peak in secondary school

Cultivating true pleasures that don’t center on romantic attention

Indulging small brand preferences even when they’re more expensive

Always getting the front seat in the car

Having ‘artistic license’ with events of the past

No long night buses home from going out

Boozy dinner parties with the kids upstairs


Written by Matilda Curtis and Jess Bird

Illustrated by Jess Bird

Cover illustration by Christopher Bragg

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UK