1) The Grim-Weeper
Favourite drink: 3 quarts gin, 1 quart tonic
Signature look: mascara on an epic southerly migration towards chin
Catch-phrase:"he was the ONE!!!"
2) The Crashing Bore
Favourite drink: burgundy
Signature look: red wine lips and gouty glow
Catch-phrase:"only a conservative government can provide the strong economic leadership this country needs"
3) The Smug Moderate
Favourite drink: white wine spritzer
Signature look: high-maintenance red lip and perky up-do
Catch-phrase: “i’m ok thanks!”
4) The Throwback Thursday
Favourite drink: jaeger bombs
Signature look: scrunchie and malboro lights
Catch-phrase: “why don’t we ever hang out anymore??”
5) The Ghost Ship
Favourite drink: "anything bro"
Signature look: lights on but nobody’s home
Catch-phrase: [untranslatable]
Written and illustrated by Jess Bird