When we hear the word ‘loneliness’ it feels cold and desolate - like the stony touch of a radiator that hasn’t been on in a long time. If it were a sound it would be tinned audience applause seeping out of a day-time talk show on tv.
But modern loneliness has many temperatures, colours, sounds and disguises. It is more crowded and more ambient than it has ever been. And to my surprise it seems to be happening to people who I always assumed had been immunised by their youth, beauty and popularity. It’s tiny moments of disconnection that run through our day like a string of broken light bulbs. No big ‘crying in the shower’ climaxes - just little moths eating holes in the fabric of our being, leaving us shivering. It might do us all good to acknowledge how pervasive this low-level loneliness is; to give ourselves permission to openly sniff its smell…to say out loud and without shame that the life of every 20-something is puckered with loneliness of some form.
In the interests of banishing some of this shame, Ditzy has collated a few low-key but very real markers of modern millennial loneliness.
Modern Loneliness Is A Bit Like:
Gyms with no windows
Ordering deliveroo to the office at 8pm
That bit between Christmas and New Year
A terrible first date
Getting into an Uber and putting on your headphones straight away
Spotify algorithms giving you the same song suggestions over and over
Going into 24 hr off-licenses when you’re sober
Running another bath for something to do
Sitting on your work phone in bed
Texting a friend to cancel
Tuesdays
Sex with the person who wasn’t the person you really needed to see you that night
Netflix asking if you’re still watching
All your housemates being out on a Friday
Irritable phone calls with your mum
Wandering around the supermarket not knowing what you want
Avoiding the eyes of the homeless person outside your tube
Swiping Hinge on the loo
Adult sick days when you still need to do your washing and make food
Leaving the party without telling anyone
Instagram stories
Listless midweek commutes
Avoiding old school mates on the tube
Hundreds of unread group whatsapps
Cereal for dinner leaning against the kitchen counter
Opening the news and closing it again
Standing in the dressing room needing a second opinion
Looking at your feet as the delivery guy hands over your food
Opening an Amazon package not even remembering what you ordered
Praying your colleague won’t start a conversation with you at the sink in the girl’s loos
Listening for your flatmate to leave the kitchen before you go in
Scrolling and scrolling and scrolling down your newsfeed to avoid going to sleep
Having no idea what your neighbours are called
Putting on a podcast then realising ten minutes later you haven’t heard a word of it
Sirens outside your bedroom window late at night
Christmas parties when all you want to do is go home and sleep
348 unread emails
Eating a Pret sandwich standing up
Realising your boyfriend doesn’t really get your sense of humour
The City on the weekend
Written and illustrated by Jess Bird
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