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  • Writer's pictureDitzy

How to Go It Alone

Updated: May 3, 2018

After a while, ‘being single’ begins to feel less like a passing reference to your romantic status and more like an existential malaise - it is a sneaky, amorphous label that has a tendency to adopt new, worrying definitions (‘alone’/ ‘so alone’). As we drift and bob into the middle of our 20s ‘having a boyfriend’ has become a vague threat that I’m aware happens to other people sometimes; like bed bugs or fridge fires. At times being single can feel like being suspended in some deep ocean between two continents, having left the safety of familial shores in order to swim for new, unknown islands. Unfortunately, not every moment is engineered to serve as a gratifying reminder of the preciousness of this brief freedom. For every Saturday night spent acting like glorious trash with your glorious trash single mates, there’s a Sunday spent lying down in 3 week-old sheets as the light slowly fades from the window.

It can be feel precarious, it can feel strange, it can feel scary. So, in honor of January - the most grindingly unglamorous month of the year - we have compiled some tips for keeping single life purposeful and zingy in 2018.

  1. Set aside one weekend every now and then to disappear into all those addictions you carefully hold at arms length - fags, Freddos, meth - whatever does it for you. No need for ‘concerned’ parties. You gat this.

  2. Never let the company in your bed be less interesting than the books on your bedside table

  3. Eat punnets of figs at the back of the cinema by yourself

  4. Read some red-hot smut (at least one Jilly Cooper)

  5. Have really good bed linen

  6. Learn how to give up in style

  7. Eat cheerios in the bath

  8. Wear colour

  9. Go to everything you’re invited to. And plenty you’re not.

  10. Write love letters to yourself

  11. Never save your best for special occasions

  12. Be someone different for the evening

  13. Keep something else alive

  14. Revel in people not knowing where you are

  15. Don’t be afraid of the long Sunday. Fill it.

  16. Know your own body. Don’t sit in the dark waiting for someone else to discover it

  17. Never despise yourself for wanting attention. We search for it as instinctively as sunflowers raising their faces in search of the sun.

  18. Remember that others feel what you feel. The city is pulsing with it

  19. Stay soft. Stay hopeful

  20. Have single friends who make you laugh about the joys and miseries of dating

  21. Invest in good socks

  22. Don’t put pressure on an imaginary person to fix things - you have to be wired up correctly before someone can switch the light on

  23. Treat your friends like lovers and your lovers like friends

  24. Stop buying the cheapest of everything

  25. Shut the front door sometimes not knowing when you’ll be back

  26. Ride buses. Listen to other people’s problems.

  27. Savour the silence

  28. Let the radio whisper you to sleep

  29. Go and sit in front of a painting

  30. Dress for the unexpected

  31. Get lots of great love advice from your uber drivers

  32. Sleep in the middle of your bed. With five pillows

  33. Have a favourite coffee shop

  34. Never let go of the immutable truths you value about yourself

  35. Reads lots of memoirs and diaries; learn about the different ways to live a life

  36. Cherish and nurture an internal world - ‘le jardin secret’ - that no one knows about yet

  37. Kiss incredibly unsuitable people. Kiss anyone who intrigues you.

  38. Surprise yourself

  39. Spend time with the very old and the very young to gain some perspective

  40. Don’t overthink it

Written by Ditzy team

Illustrated by Jess Bird

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1 Comment

Elizabeth Conrad
Elizabeth Conrad
Jan 12, 2018

great post. i can attest to how important nice linens and five pillows are. and not to get the cheapest of everything. but my favorite is the last part - dont overthink. hard to stop but oh so worth it.

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