• Ditzy

Everything I Thought I'd Understand By Now


What APR means

How tennis matches are scored

Boys

Pets without fur

What boring couples say to each other at dinner

How to split a bill

What most of the buttons on a car do

How to dance

DIY

How to make lunch for the week on a Sunday night

Why overprotective middle class parents are willing to throw their children down a snowy mountain on thin pieces of wood but won’t let them drink Sunny D

How people keep socks in their original pairs

Camping

Early exercise classes

The appeal of Creme Eggs

The lyrics of Pitbull

What Barry White was singing about

Marmite

Why people cover their furniture in plastic

How many cheeks you're supposed to kiss

Spoken word poetry

The appeal of camping

How people meet

5 inch heels

Why ‘teenagers’ on US TV shows are always 28, six foot tall and stacked with perfect skin

Some of the sex jokes on Friends like when Monica says seven loads of times with her eyes closed

Why Joey and Ross would ever be friends

And how they all have so many hours in the working week to drink coffee and banter

Infomercials

Why anyone goes to Pizza Hut when there are so many other, better options for less money

Credit ratings

The appeal of Fergie (both of them)

The plot of action films

Cruises

Festivals

Fake eyelashes

Fake tits

Fake lips

The enduring success of Keith Lemon

Houseboats

Taxes

How I never have time for anything but somehow found 60 hours (or 2.5 days straight) to watch Love Island this summer


Written and illustrated by Matilda Curtis

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Cover illustration by Christopher Bragg

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UK