• Ditzy

A Day in the Life of a Millennial (As Told by a Baby Boomer)


8 am - Email boss saying I’ll be working from home today cos you need a personal day

8.05 am - go back to sleep (self care)

10 am - do mindfulness app

10.20 am - go for brunch with writer pals: smashed avocado (natch), sourdough and three skinny soya lattes

11 am - login briefly for a skype meeting on social media strategy

11.30 am - catch up with some friends via Insta-Snap stories

11.42 am - hear the Ocado van outside, go downstairs to pillage all the smoked salmon from mum and dad’s weekly delivery, leave rest to rot outside fridge

11.55 am - call mum to ask how to switch on the washing machine

12.10 pm - start writing a list of goals

12.12 pm - brief break to argue about stuff on Twitter

12.15 pm - start writing a novel, too stressed about missing work to continue

12.30 pm - email HR asking for a payrise and complaining that your creative energies are being ‘misdirected’ towards menial admin tasks

12.50 pm - lunch: rest of the smoked salmon, organic hummus

1 pm - wonder why new Insta post hasn’t gone viral yet

1.20 pm - start googling how to become a Youtube blogger. Quickly lose interest

1.40 pm - selfie practise


2 pm - 3 sit ups. Quickly lose interest

2.20 pm - do some research for my 3rd part-time masters degree (13th century Italian art)

2.45 pm - sign some online petitions to boycott stuff

3 pm - look into moving to India to be a yoga instructor. Lose interest

3.15 pm - email work asking if they would pay for a trip to India as part of your professional development

3.30 pm - take a nap

4.45 pm - flake out on evening plans

5 pm - selfie practise

5.15 pm - wonder about cancelling £50/month gym membership. Look into ‘home running machines’ on freecycle

5.30 pm - start a 20 minute ‘abs crunch’ Youtube video. Quickly lose interest

5.45 pm - take an Uber to the cornershop. Buy a kit kat.

6.30 pm - order some Deliveroo. Eat Thai food in the bath with a podcast

7.45 pm - watch some more Insta-Snap stories

8.30 pm - have my 27 year old best friend round for a sleepover


Written by Ditzy Team

Illustrated by Helen Walker

182 views

Cover illustration by Christopher Bragg

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