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  • Writer's pictureDitzy

Existential Life Hacks

Updated: Sep 4, 2018

Nobody really cares if you don’t go to the party

Negging is the ability aid of the romantically handicapped

You don’t have to be friends with people you don’t like

You can say you’re going to do something and just not do it

You will not die if you don’t spiralise

It really does not matter how many people you have slept with

You are not a failure or a terrible person if you haven’t done everything on a Buzzfeed list

Your mum was right

You can always quit

If they don’t smell right, it’s doomed

Making your bed every day is a short-cut to good self-worth

If you didn’t go out you still existed

There is no exact weight that equals happiness

Even when it happened it wasn’t the end of the world

You’ll get over him

People in activewear are just as terrible as the rest of us

Anything could be the next avocado

If you don’t know what you wanna do, go back to the things you naturally gravitated to as a child

Don’t bother with ‘skin care’ beyond keeping your face clean, humankind has existed without it for thousands of years

Written by Jess Bird and Mattie Curtis

Illustrated by Helen Walker

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