There's no doubt about it. Reporting sexual assault is hotter this season than millennial pink or kale smoothies. Everyone's doing it, from Reese Witherspoon to Uma Thurman to Cara Delevingne. And the best part? You can recreate the #metoo look yourself at home for next to no cost.
But why should YOU try 2018's biggest trend?
1. You could lose career prospects, and a good career is kind of stressful and time-consuming anyway.
2. You get to 'throwback' to the most traumatic experience of your life over and over and over again.
3. You’ll get loads of useful feedback on your personality and behaviour from people you've never met.
4. If you do come forward about your assault, the case is 2% likely to go to trial, which are exciting odds, like Russian Roulette!
5. You’ll be cross-questioned by police about an experience that you’re probably really proud of and happy to discuss in detail.
6. If the case does go to trial, you’ll get to practice your debating skills against a brilliant, confident, educated lawyer who will comb over your sexual history in front of hundreds of strangers.
7. It’ll be great legal experience wasting time and energy fighting someone who is extremely likely to get away with it.
8. You will get lots of great constructive criticism about how long it took you to come forward, how you chose to come forward, and whether you had any contact with your abuser again.
9. You’ll get to show everyone you know what an angry, bitter, humourless killjoy you are!
10. If your attacker is sent to jail, you’ll get to 'play God' and ruin someone’s life, who you are 85-90% likely to know personally.
So go for it, ladies! Apart from your dignity, reputation, job, relationships, peace and mental health, what do you have to lose?
Written by Matilda Curtis
Illustrated by Helen Walker